The 2010 Calgary SantaCon
 has not yet been planned

Calgary Santacon 2009 is on Saturday, December 12.

Early Santarchy:
2:00 PM Olympic Plaza (All Ages)
2:15 (approx.) Stephen Avenue Mall
3:00 The French Maid (bring photo ID; no cover)

Official Starting Point:
4:00 The Ship & Anchor Pub

6:00 Rose & Crown Pub
7:00 The Drum & Monkey Pub
8:00 Bottlescrew Bill's Pub
9:00 The Unicorn Pub
10:00 The Marquee Room (2nd floor of the Uptown Stage & Screen)
11:00 (approx.) 3 options: The Warehouse, Twisted Element or the
Bohemia party...

Santa will be using a new website called TWITTER to Ho Ho Ho!
throughout the day @CalgarySantacon
Santa encourages everyone to tweet about where Santa is in realtime
using the hashtag #YYCsanta

http://twitter.com/CalgarySantacon

Facebook event:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=13864469942

Get your official Calgary Santacon 2009 songbooks here!
http://public.me.com/dhittel

Early Santarchy Route (Google Map):
http://bit.ly/5PUsXf

The Main Route (revised Google Map):
http://bit.ly/4SQxes

More websites:
http://santacon.info/Calgary-AB/
http://santarchy.com/

* * *

The 4 F*cks of Santacon:
1. Santa does not f*ck with kids
2. Santa does not f*ck with police
3. Santa does not f*ck with security
4. Santa does not f*ck with Santa

And add to that, don’t get yourself into any trouble that you can’t
get yourself out of. Santa has a way of disappearing when the red and
blue lights start flashing or the fists start flying. Don’t expect a
Santa Bouncer or Santa Lawyer to come running to your side, ya stupid
prick!

Bring innocent toys to hand out to kids and naughty toys to give to adults.
IT IS YOUR CIVIC DUTY TO MAKE PEOPLE WONDER WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.

There is a dress code. It is Santa and/or Extreme Christmas.
Santacon is ON, rain, shine or snow. Plan on cold, windchill and snow,
and dress in layers. Wear big, black Santa boots.

Other conventions of Santacon:
- Follow Santa
- No Santa Left Behind! Keep track of your Santa friends
- Don't wash the suit! Your Filthy Disgusting Santa suit is a badge of
honour. Wear it proudly. Be Santa!
- Bars can be crowded. It is best to have a backup plan (and a flask!
Santa is ethanol-powered.)
- Santa pays CASH and tips well
- Follow Santa and keep moving

Remember the answers to these frequently asked questions:

Q: Is this some sort of political statement?
A: No, it’s fun. Remember fun?

Q: What organization are you with?
A: Santa!

Q: What are you protesting?
A: s%%tty holiday parties.

Q: How did you get here?
A: “A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.”

Q: Who’s in charge?
A: Santa!

Q: Which Santa?
A: The one with the beard.

Q: Which Santa with a beard?
A: That’s it, you’re on the naughty list!

Q: Where are you going?
A: I am only allowed to tell you if you dress like Santa.

Q: Can I join you?
A: Get into a costume and we’ll talk.

Q: But I don’t have a costume?
A: Buy us all a round of drinks and we’ll talk.

If you manage to stay with the pack the whole afternoon and evening,
and not get yourself beat up or arrested, you should finish up
somewhere near The Warehouse night club. Anyway, getting your fat
Santa ass back to your vehicle is your own damn responsibility, since
the reindeer will be too drunk to pull the sleigh. Your best bet is to
have someone drop you off at the starting point (Olympic Plaza or the
Ship & Anchor Pub) and take a cab home. Tip the cabbie well. DON’T
DRINK AND DRIVE.

FURTHER ADVICE FROM SANTA:
*Get some food in your belly before you meet up w/ the Santa pack so
we don’t lose you by 6:00 PM;
*Drink water after every alcoholic drink (remember marathon, not sprint);
*Eat FOOD – plenty of opportunities;
*Keep a Santa buddy, two actually & have their cell phone digits handy;
*If anyone asks – SANTA IS IN CHARGE;
*Have handy excuses for why you’re dressed like that (see above);
*If the Police or Security ask you to leave, do so
*Bring a map to your house to hand to the taxi driver when you lose
the ability to speak;
*Wear layers and comfortable boots;
*Bring a Santa Swag Bag or backback to hold extra Santa clothing to
assimilate other Santas, and gifts, toys, cell phone, nibbles, money;
*Plenty of CASH in small bill denominations is best so you are not
left behind waiting for your friggin’ tab and Interac payment.
Remember, Santas will be on the move!

Here’s some great information about Santarchy (via the Washington DC
Cacophonists):

Santa’s Rules:

Be Jolly.

Santa apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa
suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. If you
don’t have any money, be creative. If you don’t have any creativity,
slap yourself three times and ask your mom to help you. Glue cotton
balls to red long johns. Already have a Santa suit? Make a spare so
Santa can assimilate strangers. Past examples: Pimp Santa/Santa
Garcia/Santa’s Naughty Little Helper. Santa needs Elf sidekicks.
Traditional Santa suits can be bought at local party stores.

Santa’s Reminders:

The schedule is open to liberal interpretation by Santa. If you can’t
show up for the start, get the cell number of someone who can talk you
in later, or track Santa on Twitter @CalgarySantacon

Santa does not make children cry (unless they whine, snivel, or
otherwise deserve it). Really – If you see kids, give them nice toys,
candy, or something pleasant.

Watching Santas get drunk and obnoxious is fun. Babysitting Santas
while they vomit in an alley is not.

Twisting the holiday paradigm until it screams for mercy is fun!
Getting arrested is not.

Santa Claus is friendly and cooperative with cops, security guards,
park rangers, and CSIS agents, and doesn’t break any laws (unless
they’re stupid and deserve to be broken). If you're unwise, DON'T GET
CAUGHT.

Bring gifts — Naughty gifts to give grown-ups; nice stuff to give
kids. Throwing coal at authority figures is discouraged. If you can
spare a non-perishable food item (or cash) please donate generously to
the Food Bank Drive at the Marquee room.

Pay your own damn bar tab as soon as you get your drink, and tip well.

And to add to that:
*** CRAWL means, we will be on foot for a stretch. Not recommended for
wimpy-whiney-babies. ***

* * *

Early history lesson:
http://santarchy.com/cheap-suit-santas-1994/

Santa, NO!
http://santano.tumblr.com/

Sketchy Santas are sketchy:
http://www.sketchysantas.com/

* * *

HO HO HO!
Santa Fez
☃☃☃☃☃

Calgary SantaCon 2009 is Saturday, December 12. Meet at Olympic Plaza at 2:00, catch-up at The French Maid at 3:00 PM, Ship & Anchor Pub at 4:00 PM. Facebook event site: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=146962367934

Follow on twitter at http://twitter.com/CalgarySantaCon