Ten Reasons why a Christmas Tree is Better Than a Woman

1. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past
2. A Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices
3. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet
4. A Christmas tree never asks to be taken out
5. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home
6. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it
7. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away
8. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees
9. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day
10. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck

Ten Reasons Why a Christmas Tree is Better Than a Man

1. A Christmas tree knows that the angel always goes on top
2. Once you spend enough time fiddling with its base, a Christmas tree always stands erect
3. A Christmas tree knows it looks much better with a woman's touch
4. When you bring out the ornament box, a Christmas tree knows who really has the balls
5. A Christmas tree is always the right fit, because you can assess the goods before bringing it home
6. A Christmas tree never shrinks when it gets cold outside
7. If you get tired of one of its limbs, you can just saw it off
8. When the Christmas tree starts to lose its needles and get saggy, you can throw it out
9. When you put your box underneath the tree, the Christmas tree doesn't immediately try to open the package
10. Because you're in charge of decorating, you can ensure that the Christmas tree is always well hung

Titillations

Someone was not amused...

The following photo got banned from Facebook....

No hos...

Aussies have been warned that "ho-ho-ho" is no longer politically correct. story

Don't mess with Santa...